Review: The Anaconda Remake…the Heck did I Just Watch? (Spoilers)

For those of you who didn’t know, the 1997 movie Anaconda got a reboot last year starring Jack Black and Paul Rudd. Why this was necessary given the hilarious absurdity of the original movie, I don’t know, but it’s a thing. It’s obviously supposed to be a comedy paying homage to the original by making fun of it, but after watching it, though it’s funny, it also felt extremely disjointed.

To start with the pros, the reboot of Anaconda did have some funny scenes in it, which partially came from how random the movie was. It follows Doug and Griffin, two middle-aged guys who dreamed of being film makers, but ended up not getting the jobs they dreamed of. Griffin, wanting to get the gang back together and finally chase his dreams tells everyone that he’s gotten the rights to Anaconda and wants to make a reboot. Thus, they head off to the Amazon to shoot the movie, and a bunch of whacky shenanigans happen, especially when the actual snake comes into the picture.

Now, the snake is one of the places where the movie starts feeling disjointed. Basically, while Doug, Griffin, and the rest of their crew are trying to film Anaconda 2.0, there is an actual Titanoboa-size anaconda hunting them. Additionally, they have to deal with an illegal gold mining ring that they ran into and the people trying to arrest the gold miners.

Oh, yeah. Did I mention that there’s an entire side plot about there being an illegal gold mining ring that the Brazilian authorities are trying to stop that’s only relevant for about a third of the movie? Yeah, that’s a thing.

While that side plot sort-of added something to the movie, it didn’t do a whole lot in the long run other than getting Doug and company a boat (sort-of) and helping establish the existence of the giant anaconda that’s hunting them. Other than that, this side plot just adds fluff to the story that the movie seems to at least be aware of. A few times, it mentions that the existence of the gold mining ring adds tension to a movie that’s otherwise just a bunch of people trying to run away from a giant snake.

Another thing that happens in Anaconda is Ice Cube makes a random appearance and he’s trying to hunt the anaconda for some reason. It’s a plot point that, while funny, makes no sense. He’s really only there for laughs and to pay homage to the original movie.

Overall, the movie was funny but felt crowded and disjointed at times.

Until next time,

M.J.