Blog: Reviewing Super Expensive Zillow Houses (Why do These Exist?)

A little bit ago, I ran across some videos by a YouTuber called Ryan George where he was reacting to really stupid luxury houses on the website Zillow. I was familiar with Zillow, but I had never actually had any interest to go on the site and look up really dumb houses. But after watching those videos, I had to and after my adventures through the mansions of Zillow, I must ask: why? If you’re a millionaire, why would you waste your money on these? Some are understandable, but others…no. Just…no….

#1: You Had a Teen Dystopian Novel Phase at One Point, Didn’t You?

This house is located in Beverly Hills, California, and whoever built it was either a really big fan of teen dystopian novels like Maze Runner or The Hunger Games or was desperately trying to make concrete-chic a thing. If you think the outside of this is bad, here’s some pictures from the interior:

This last picture just looks like if Iron Man cleaned up his basement a bit. What is going on here? This just looks like a nightmare to walk through and I’m half wondering if there’s a Minotaur in the center. I’m also wondering if there are twenty-four teenagers lost in that house trying to survive.

#2: The Sewer Treatment Plant

From this angle, this house just looks like an aquarium, but instead of fish, you can watch the humans walking around through the blue-tinted windows. However, if you look at it from the aerial view, it either looks like a really ugly fan or a sewer treatment plant. Observe:

Besides the outside being ugly, the inside isn’t much better, looking like an office building or mall was converted into a house.

Yeah, there’s truly nothing like living in an abandoned mall with glass everywhere for creeps to observe you through and some really bad art that looks like it was created during a murder.

#3: The House Megan Markle Wishes She Had

This house screams, “We really want you to believe we’re royalty!”

To be fair, it is beautiful. If you want a house that indicates that you’re the third of your name, have some sort of title that comes before it, the words “of *some-place-that’s-name-ends-in-‘shire’*” after it, and that your wife used to be a maid with a very unique foot size, then it’s the place for you. It even has a room for the powerful sorcerer who serves as your advisor (who may or may not be trying to steal your throne) to do his thing:

It also has a place hide your pet basilisk. All you have to do it turn the spigot handle on the bathtub too far counterclockwise and you’ll find yourself an entrance to the Chamber of Secrets….

#4: No Murders Have Ever Happened Here…

On the outside, this looks like the type of place where some Romans would be walking around talking about which statesman they want to murder next, or maybe where a Roman senator committed suicide. On the inside, however, some of the rooms look like someone went overboard with the tile, knowing they could, but never asking if they should.

#5: That’s Not a House

This house is listed as a “multi-family home.” Technically, it could house multiple families, but it’s not really a “home.” The words “Apartment complex” or “Motel” would’ve been better based off of these pictures:

Until next time,

M.J.