Apologetics: Flippin’ Fatwa Friday – Muhammad was the Gayest Guy in Arabia Part 2: Muhammad and the Men of Al-Zutt

If any of you lovely readers are at all familiar with David Wood or the polemics scene against Islam in general, you know about this story, as it provides the most damning evidence that Muhammad was bi.

To sum up this story, according to Jami at-Tirmidhi 2861, Musnad Ahmad ibn Hanbal 3778, and Musnad Ahmad ibn Hanbal 3688, Muhammad went to a valley in or near Mecca with his buddy, Abdullah ibn Masud. He then drew a line around Masud and sat him down in it, telling him not to cross the line and that some men would come and speak to him, but he was not to talk to them. Then Muhammad walked away.

Ibn Masud was probably very confused by this order, but his confusion was only going to become sheer disturbance and terror. Sometime after receiving the order to stay in the circle of safety, a bunch of naked dudes from the tribe of al-Zutt appeared and surrounded Masud for a bit before turning their attention to Muhammad and quote-unquote “riding” him. Some of them would approach Masud, which made him so scared that he sat down in the circle of safety. At the end of the night, Muhammad came back, saying he was in pain, and passed out in Masud’s lap.

Already, there is so much in this story that is disturbing, but other hadiths and Arabic customs make this even weirder. The six points to consider are:

1. Several Islamic authors mention the al-Zutt, and it was a common description that they were extremely virile.
2. It was a common practice amongst Arabs at the time to sleep with young boys in the belief that their being inseminated would make them stronger men.
3. The word used for ride, “yarkaboun” meant exactly what it means in English. It could be used both in the context of actually riding something or in reference to intercourse. In fact, al-Qurtubi confirms this, when he writes in a tafsir that “A woman may be compared to a cow, horse, or camel—for all are ridden.”
4. According to Sahih Bukhari 268, Muhammad had the strength of 30 men.
5. There is strong evidence throughout Muhammad’s many biographies that he was…tiny. Let’s just leave it at that.
6. Muhammad had a tendency of taking customs and practices done in childhood and applying them to adults (i.e. breastfeeding).

From this, we can begin putting together the pieces of the puzzle that make this story so disturbing and ironic. These six details put together show us that this most likely wasn’t just a random homosexual encounter (though that may have added to it) but may have been a sort of remedy to some of Muhammad’s insecurities.

As mentioned in point #2, it was a common belief in the Arab world that in order for a young boy to grow up to be a strong man, he had to be inseminated. Thus, a sort of pederasty was common in Arabia as boys were raped by older men believing that it would make them more manly and virile later in life.

Combine that with points #5 and #6, and we can begin to understand a possible motivation for Muhammad’s encounter with the men of al-Zutt. It’s possible that he was insecure about himself, knew of the custom of inseminating boys to make them more virile in adulthood, and thought, “Why wouldn’t it work on an adult?” Thus, he sought out the al-Zutt, the most virile guys in the region, and, probably not wanting to be just like any other guy, decided to find as many as possible, hence why he had the strength of 30 men.

Ew. Just…ew.

The Muslim response to this, of course, is one that tries to adamantly deny that this ever happened. They say that this story is Islamophobic propaganda that misrepresents the actual text, which they claim to have been referring to the night of the Jinn, when Muhammad recited the Quran to a bunch of jinn. According to them, these jinn just happened to look like the men of al-Zutt.

As for why the text says that the jinn, men, or whatever they were were riding Muhammad, Muslims claim that it’s a mistranslation. While “yarkaboun” can mean “to ride,” they argue that it can also mean “to crowd around.” The latter translation, according to them, is the way it was intended to be read.

The issue with this is that regardless of if this was the night of the jinn or not, the argument that “yarkaboun” in this context means “to crowd around” runs into a few problems.

First, it can’t explain why they appeared naked. Maybe the jinn don’t have clothes but taken in conjunction with the fact that Muhammad reportedly came stumbling back to ibn Masud telling him that he was in pain, and it seems that the al-Zutt did a lot more than crowd around him. This alone makes the translation of “yarkaboun” that Muslims suggest unlikely, but it gets worse.

The second reason why this translation is unlikely is because of ibn Masud’s response to the al-Zutt when they started trying to get at him. It’s clear from the text that he was absolutely terrified of whatever was “riding” Muhammad. However, instead of fighting back, standing his ground, or running away, he sits down, an incredibly strange reaction for someone who is scared. From this, it’s safe to infer that by sitting down, he was probably trying to protect a certain part of himself after seeing what was going on with Muhammad.

The third and final reason why the al-Zutt were actually “riding” Muhammad and not just crowding around him is the fact that “yarkaboun” is apparently rarely used by Arabic speakers to mean anything but “to ride” or “to mount,” both in a sexual and non-sexual capacity. To suggest that it does mean “to crowd around” is quite a stretch.

Then there’s the suggestion that the al-Zutt story was fabricated and isn’t an authentic hadith. However, this runs into the problem that it’s not only attested two several times, but it doesn’t really make sense that someone would make up such a story about Muhammad. Historically speaking, both of those factors make it more likely that this actually happened.

Until next time,

M.J.