Apologetics: Pastaferians – the Babylon Bee of Religion.

I call Pastaferians “The Babylon Bee of Religion” because the entire thing is a parodic religion for anyone who’s opposed to “crazy nonsense done in the name of religion”…whatever the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster and its members defines that as. Originally, it was raised to oppose intelligent design being taught in schools.

Is Pastaferianism meant to be offensive? Yes.

Is it one of the most ridiculous things I’ve seen on the internet in the past year or so? Also, yes.

Do I feel jipped that this group wasn’t included in my comparative religions course? 100%. So, let’s check it out.

The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster was formed in 2005 by 24-year-old Oregon State University graduate, Bobby Henderson when he wrote an open letter to the Kansas State Board of Education, satirically criticizing Intelligent Design being taught in schools. In the letter, he explained that the Flying Spaghetti Monster (FSM) actually created the world and whenever a scientist carbon-dates something, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is there skewing the results with “His Noodly Appendage.” Henderson argued that this view of creation was just as valid as Intelligent Design and also deserved to be taught in classrooms, writing:

I think we can all look forward to the time when these three theories are given equal time in our science classrooms across the country, and eventually the world: one third time for Intelligent Design, one third time for Flying Spaghetti Monsterism, and one third time for logical conjecture based on overwhelming observable evidence.

I love how people throw Intelligent Design under the bus without looking at the scientific evidence for it in favor of evolution, which relies primarily on conjecture instead of the “overwhelming observable evidence” people say supports it. But, of course, who am I to say? I’m only a Christian after all, which automatically disqualifies me from speaking on this according to secular humanists.

Anyway…

After Henderson wrote this letter and never received a response, he posted it on his website, which gained traction on the Internet and Pastafarianism was born, becoming an Internet phenomenon. Later that year, due to the Internet and media traction, Henderson was then approached by multiple publishing companies to write a book, and after getting an advance by Villard, he wrote The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Later, others in the movement would write two more books that are satirical gospels.

Though Pastafarians proudly proclaim that they have no dogma except the rejection of dogma, they do have a collection of beliefs about creation, the world, and the afterlife, though how far one could consider this to be dogma is questionable since it’s supposed to be satire. Basically, they believe (jokingly or sincerely) that the Flying Spaghetti Monster created the world after getting incredibly drunk, which is why the world is flawed. According to them, the reason why the evidence (allegedly) points to evolution is a test from the FSM to test the faith of the Pastafarians, which parodies what some Christian preachers have said.

[Author’s Note: Christians, we really have got to stop giving these people ammo by saying random crap when asked questions we don’t know how to answer. Go get some books on apologetics and study the scientific and logical explanations for things instead of making dumb crap up, such as, “It’s a test from God!”]

From there, the Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster teaches that pirates are divine beings, the original Pastaferians, and were “peace-loving explorers and spreaders of good will” who gave candy to children and stuff. They had no connection to the pirates of today, and as the number of pirates have dwindled, it’s caused global warming to go up.

I guess that’s why it’s 90 degrees where I live as I’m writing this even though it’s March and I’m many, many miles inland. There just aren’t enough dang pirates. Guess I need to move to Minnesota…

As for the afterlife, they believe that Heaven has a beer volcano and a stripper factory (Muhammad, is that you?) and Hell is basically the same thing, only the beer is flat and the strippers have STDs.

Since it’s conception, the Church of the FSM has continued to be popular and Poland, New Zealand, the Netherlands, and several states in the US recognize it as a legit religion. They are even allowed to officiate weddings in certain states, or, at the very least, are the ones leading the ceremony.

So, that’s a short overview of Pastaferianism. There are others who are religious who part of it according to the FSM website (however accurate that is), but it seems to mainly be atheists, agnostics, and other variations of secular humanists wanting to have a laugh at religion. It’s nothing new, except they wear colanders on their heads and have a ton of puns centered around pasta…like “Pastover” or “Ramendan.”

Until next time,

M.J.