Apologetics: Debunking Deconstruction – Weird Old Testament Rules?

Ah, yes. Yet another blog post I’ve wanted to do for several months now but have been putting off for the wonderful excuse of…reasons. This is what happens when you come up with most of your blog post ideas at 3 a.m. after being jolted awake by your subconscious and saying: “Why haven’t I thought of this before?! I should broadcast this to world…zzzz….”

I can only imagine what hell would be unleashed if I were to take Ambien. Anyways…weird Old Testament rules. This won’t be an exhaustive list but will be some of the rules that confuse everyone that reads them, Christians and non-Christians alike. On to the weirdness!

#1: No Grabbing the Crotch in Defense of your Husband.

Starting off strong with this one, in Deuteronomy 25:11-12, it says:

¹¹ If two men are fighting and the wife of one of them comes to rescue her husband from his assailant, and she reaches out and seizes him by his private parts, ¹² you shall cut off her hand. Show her no pity.

I had to do a double take when I first read this a few months ago. I literally wrote a note next to it in my Bible that said, “WHO IS DOING THIS?!” Who’s first instinct in defending themselves or their spouse in a fight is to grab the assailant by the yarbles? Was this a legit problem people had?

Apparently, this was a problem, and it wasn’t just the Israelites who had this law. In ancient Assyrians texts, this was also prohibited. The thinking was that it was punishment before the trial and if the guy’s privates got damaged, it would take him out of the running for having kids. I suppose this makes sense, but unless you’re really desperate, I’m not sure who’s first instinct is to make a grab for the crotch in a fight.

#2: Lady’s Issues

[Sorry, guys. If you want to skip this one, feel free to.]

In Leviticus 15, it basically says to avoid women who are on their periods. While this seems weird, this actually was done for two reasons. The first reason was hygienic. Remember, this was an age where menstrual products weren’t a thing. Additionally, giving the ladies an area to themselves allowed them to rest and be free from any potential superstitions that were common at the time (many cultures then believed that menstrual blood had strange powers that would affect everything).

The second reason was spiritual. Blood was considered a fluid of life and represented atonement from sin (hence, all the animal sacrifices and not eating blood.) However, outside of ritual sacrifices, the loss of blood was considered unclean and required rituals to restore purity.

#3: No Eating Unclean Critters

This is probably the most well-known prohibition in the entire Bible. There is really no reason why certain animals are prohibited from being eaten and declared unclean, but some scholars think it was to separate the Jewish people from the Gentiles.

As for seafood though…I’ll let Jim Gaffigan explain:

#4: No Killing Burglars During the Day

In Exodus 22:2-3:

² “If a thief is caught breaking in at night and is struck a fatal blow, the defender is not guilty of bloodshed; ³ but if it happens after sunrise, the defender is guilty of bloodshed.

“Anyone who steals must certainly make restitution, but if they have nothing, they must be sold to pay for their theft.

This is weird but makes sense. If someone is stealing from you at night, you can’t see who it is, and you’re worried about your safety, okay. But if it’s daytime, you can see who it is, and there are people to help, then unless there’s no other choice, not killing them makes sense.

#5: Don’t Boil a Baby Goat in its Mother’s Milk

I’ll end on this one. The reason why this seemingly arbitrary command was given was because it was seen as an inversion of the natural order. What gave live to the meal shouldn’t be used to flavor said meal. It could also be that this was something the pagans did as a fertility rite, so it would also go with setting apart the Israelites from the Gentiles.

Until next time,

M.J.