Back in June, my family and I went to my first New Age Expo and had the opportunity to talk to a bunch of people of different belief systems and try to figure out what they believed. I talked to someone selling crystals, someone selling magic mushrooms, an energy healer, and some Hari Krishna dudes. One would think that was enough New Age exposure for one year, but nope! Remember, my family and I are Christian apologists. We’re not going to do just one of these things. We want to have conversations with and put as many pebbles in as many people’s shoes as possible. We want to learn and hopefully share our faith. Thus, we went to another one of these expos last weekend, so here’s that experience.
This time around, the expo was much larger. The one we had gone to previously was in the northern area of the state and was the smallest one. This time around, the expo was in the city and was held in a massive events center, so it held a lot more people. It still didn’t take up the entire place, but it had over 70 different vendors as compared to the 40 or so vendors that were at the first one. There were also a lot more people there to check out the expo, so much so that parking was scarce and we had to get a spot in overflow parking about a mile away from the actual event.
After the walk to the event center, we went inside and the first thing I noticed were the rainbow-colored stairs that said something along the lines of, “Begin your journey to ascension.” We went up the stairs and while we physically ascended the stairs, we were realistically descending into spiritual desperation. A lot of the people there were older folks, and I saw several people there who were disabled and were in wheelchairs.
Remember, if you’ve read my last post about the New Age Expo or know anything about New Age in general, a lot of people enter the New Age because they want some sort of healing from a variety of ailments, be it mental or physical. A lot of them aren’t happy with the answers or “cures” being given to them by their doctors, are trying to find ways to deal with trauma or other mental issues, many want answers and comfort, etc. And a lot of people who work in the New Age will say they’re trying to help you but are really selling you practices that are ungodly and unbiblical or are flat-out snake oil claiming it will help the people with those ailments.
Speaking of people selling snake oil, one such lady was the Moon Preistess, Uri. You may remember her from my last post on this as well. She’s the lady I was talking about who is the self-described “high priestess of the Temple of Sedona, certified hypnotherapist, certified RTT therapist, counselor, past life regression practitioner, breathwork facilitator, Vortex Breathwork™ creator, certified CHEK holistic life practitioner, holistic health expert, Universal Tao instructor, priestess trainer, Divine Code channel, [and] Moon and Star Ceremonialist.” Unfortunately, the last time I was at this event, she wasn’t there since she was scheduled to speak on a different day. However, this time, I got to meet her at her magic mushroom stand. I walked over, introduced myself, and asked how she got into her whole shtick. She explained that she was called to do what she does after she got out of a toxic relationship, then immediately offered me a tiny wooden spoon for trying out her brain-bending fungi tinctures without even asking for my ID!
I quickly declined on the basis of having severe food allergies, and so she immediately brushed me off and started handing out the tinctures to the people who wanted to test it (i.e. would give her money). Ironically, the sign behind her promoting her ‘shroom products says they’ll help with everything ranging from ADHD and depression to chronic illnesses and allergies. That alone should show that she’s a fake who apparently doesn’t even believe in her own claims and would rather brush off someone who – in her mind – is a potential customer rather than run the risk of being sued if something went horribly wrong.
There’s also the fact that while I look somewhat older than my age, I still look young, especially when I’m not wearing much makeup (which I wasn’t that day; just mascara and some winged eyeliner). This meant that Uri – who I can’t stress enough, didn’t even ask for my ID to see if I’m over 21! – literally offered a minor drugs! In my state, it’s illegal to sell psylocibin or any other decriminalized mushrooms to someone under 21. That means that, had I accepted the ‘shroom tincture, she could be facing criminal/felony charges and potentially time in jail for the distribution of psychedelics to a minor.
She must really be the Moon Priestess to think that that was okay, because she’s on a completely different planet of ethics. (Please ignore the fact that the moon isn’t a planet; I couldn’t think of anything that sounded good while being scientifically accurate.)
Anyways…
Another example of snake oil that we saw there was some dude selling these things:
Now, if you’re thinking, “Well, that’s a weird collection of trash,” that’s not someone’s trash. Those are Color-Coded-Spirit-Pebble-Water-Filters TM, which you’re supposed to hook up to your sink, refrigerator, or wherever you get your drinking water to get Magic-Spirit-Pebble-Spiritual-Ascendence-Water TM. How it works is the water first travels through a filter, removing all the stuff in your tap water so it becomes distilled water, then passes through a conglomeration of whatever Color-Coded-Spirit-Pebbles TM and coral that you want (which the coral actually does something, but its benefits are negligible) so your water is now magical and helps with your vibes, man. However, what the guy selling these doesn’t tell you is that because your water is now distilled and you likely aren’t going to be washing these, your Color-Coded-Spirit-Pebble-Water-Filter TM is going to grow Magic-Spirit-Pebble-Spiritual-Ascendence-Mold TM, which will get into your Magic-Spirit-Pebble-Spiritual-Ascendence-Water TM. Your vibes will remain untouched because they don’t exist, but your doctor will sure thank you for giving him your money.
To give credit to the guy selling these, when some lady asked him if she could put copper in her Color-Coded-Spirit-Pebble-Water-Filter TM, he told her not to do that, because copper is poisonous and you shouldn’t be drinking water with large quantities of copper in it.
Some other people we talked to was a lady selling bath products soaked in essential oils who was super liberal and a holistic medicine practitioner. She was interesting to talk to since her whole thing was that she’s healing physical maladies through a mix of Western and Eastern modalities, with ways of feeling better being subjective for each person. While we could agree with a lot of what she was saying like the fact that some drugs and medicines aren’t the cure all for everything, it was still very clear that we didn’t have the same worldview. She believed in looking inside for answers (especially when dealing with trauma), while we as Christians believe that God is the one who we should look to for guidance. And the way she had gotten into it? Bad experiences with doctors. Like I said earlier, this is a common theme for a lot of people who are into Eastern healing modalities.
However, the most interesting person I talked to at the New Age Expo was a young woman I’ll call E. I say she was the most interesting person we spoke to because she was a practicing Hellenic polytheist. That means that she worships the Greek gods (particularly Apollo, who she said had been speaking to her since childhood) and on top of that, she also said that she’s an oracle and receives messages from the gods in the form of color patterns. She was there selling candles that she said would help you connect with the gods, so we started talking about the Greek gods and polytheism. Her apologetic for it was that the gods are supposed to be recognized more for the morals their stories teach and less for who they were later portrayed as.
When I later asked her about the morals of the gods – such as how hypocritical Zeus is when he’s the god of justice then goes and rapes a girl – E told me that the gods operate on a different moral code than us humans, who have collectively created our own morals. It’s an interesting argument that I’ll maybe write a post on later, but it’s one that doesn’t make much sense since if the gods are willing to violate the moral code of man to do what they think is moral, then how can the universe (which the gods represent different parts of) be rational. Morals can only come from truth, but if all truth is subjective, including the truth of the people who are supposed to be ruling over and representing parts of the universe, then reason cannot exist because objective truth does not exist in that world.
The back and forth continued for a little while, and we talked about what got her into Hellenism, how she worships the gods, what her background was before becoming a Hellenist, etc. E eventually offered me a candle that was supposed to tap into the power of one of the Greek heroes. Though it was a pretty candle and wasn’t inherently bad, I couldn’t accept something that was meant to glorify something other than God. Thus, I politely declined and told her that I’m a Christian and don’t believe in trying to tap into those powers. She then offered me another candle that was tied to the different archangels, and I declined those, because while they are in the Bible, they’re still God’s creation and the only person deserving of worship is God. She seemed a bit put out by that but didn’t seem offended by the fact I’m a Christian, which was good. I later thanked her again for the conversation before I left.
Overall, it was a really fun experience, and I want to go to more things like this. Just next time, if someone offers me a fungus, I’m just going to reply, “I like my brain not resembling scrambled eggs.”
Until next time,
M.J.
The Tanuki Corner 