Blog: Okay, Haters…You Win.

Since at least 2024, I’ve been being bombarded by haters and now, after a year of putting up with their very well-thought-out arguments consisting of “F*** you” and other names, I must admit that I can take it no longer. I simply cannot refute their points anymore. Their evidence-based arguments that I’m a “loser,” a bully, a racist, an Islamophobe, etc. can no longer be refuted. The counterarguments that I have provided were not well-thought out and I must admit that they…are right.

I am clearly a horrible person for posting the things I do on this blog. Clearly, my blog is hurting marginalized people and communities. The accusations of being a terrible liar are true. Thus, I must repent and admit that these claims made in subjective truth are objective truth though no objective truth exists, and all truth is subjective including my own, but I must admit that the truth given to me by the ever-enlightened atheists in my comments section are objective though these same atheists tell me that all truth is subjective.

I today pledge to do the work to step out of my terrible white privilege and accept the truth that there is no power to hold me accountable except for my chaotic self and I’ll let you know when I find Palestine because it’s obviously a country though no one knows where the heck it is.

…

Except…there’s a problem here. Did you catch it?

April fools, haters! You didn’t really think that you won, did you? In fact, I’m just getting started. So, let’s talk about one of the most controversial topics that I’ve discussed on my blog: the fact that I’m a Christian.

I’m getting baptized on Easter and last Sunday, I went to baptism class. It was pretty chill and naturally, everyone was late (we almost never start things on time at my church). However, when we did eventually get started, we just spent some time talking about why baptism is important (which I’ll be talking about later in the month) and some of what to expect. Basically, I’ll be going up on stage, giving my testimony (which, though I had shortened it from nine to four pages long, I will have to shorten some more to fit the time requirement of a minute), and the plan is that my dad will be baptizing me.

The thing that honestly stood out to me the most in the baptism class was the fact that it existed at all. This is something that is novel to me because I’ve never been a part of a church that did that type of thing until now. The last baptism of a family member was my dad’s and, our first church being a seeker-sensitive megachurch, there was no explanation of why baptism was important or needed (my first church wasn’t good at explaining any major points of Christianity, really). For all we knew, most of the people getting baptized were there because they wanted a few moments in the inflatable swimming pool.

Anyway, I’ll be talking some more about getting baptized in the coming weeks, but I’ll leave you with this: if you plan to get baptized, don’t, under any circumstances, wear white. I don’t care how good you think you look in white. It’s see-through when wet.

Until next time,

M.J.