Do any of you guys know where that line comes from?
That’s right! It’s from Star Wars, which can only mean that the Tuskan raiders are back in Rings of Power, so let’s start with that.
#1: The People of the Rhun and…Stoors?
The people of Rhun don’t really have much of a part to play in this episode except to look menacing and introduce a person who’s supposed to be a dark wizard that rules over them. Once again, this flies in the face of Tolkien’s work because the Istari (Wizards) didn’t come to Middle Earth until the early Third Age, so that idea that there’s a wizard that rules the people of Rhun who is – I’m assuming – supposed to be like the anti-Gandalf is ridiculous. What makes this even worse is that the wizard looks suspiciously like a younger version of Saruman, someone who didn’t become evil until much later into the Third Age. And if this guy is one of the Blue Wizards, characters who we don’t know very much about, then Amazon is still running into the same problem.
Then there’s the Stoors, who are the broadest breed of Hobbit and lived mainly along the Vales of Anduin and the Gladden Feilds. An example of a Stoor hobbit is Smeagol (a.k.a. Gollum). The reason why I mention this is because Nori and Poppy (female Frodo and Sam) run across the Stoors and for some inexplicable reason, they’re living in Rhun and are also the ones who came up with the idea of digging holes in the ground and living in them. Why this is a plot line, I don’t know. I think it’s just there to give Poppy a love interest and introduce more “diverse” characters.
#2: Tom Bombadil
Totally-not-Gandalf meets Tom Bombadil in Rhun in this episode and not only is there stolen dialogue from the books, but Tom doesn’t look anything like Tom in the books. His cloak is hardly blue, and he doesn’t have his signature yellow boots and large hat with a colorful feather. In Rings of Power, he is now Gandalf’s mentor (something that never happened since Gandalf never lost his memory when he came to Middle Earth) and he takes a stance against Sauron, something that he still never did because he didn’t care. What makes Tom Bombadil such an interesting character in Tolkien’s universe is because he has no interest in the forces of good or evil. He’s just there, vibing in the Withywindle near the Barrow-downs with his wife, Goldberry, without a care in the world, which leads me to my next point…
Why is he in Rhun?
Seriously, why? He lives in a thick forest closer to where Galadriel is in this episode than anywhere else? The fact that they seem to have him wandering around everywhere is ridiculous.
#3: Barrow-wights
Just like the Hobbits, Barrow-wights were pretty strictly a Third Age thing. While some of the barrows were constructed by the Edain (men) of the First Age and more were later constructed for the Kings of Men in the Second and Third Age, the wights didn’t become super active until the Great Plague of TA 1636. Furthermore, it’s suspected that the Witch-king of Angmar had sent evil spirits to prevent the Dunedain from resettling the area in TA 1409. All this leads to is confusion as to why they’re in the show in the first place.
Furthermore, the way they attack Galadriel and Co. is ridiculous according to the lore as well. While they were threatening, they weren’t throwing chains to catch their victims, but rather would sing a song, lure them into the barrows, use golden chains to chain them to an altar, clothe them in the relics of the old kings, then kill them with an enchanted, sacrificial dagger. While it might not be the most amazing thing ever for a show, they could’ve at least done that much or put the barrows in a field, which is where they belong, not some random forest.
#4: Emasculating Elrond
If you watched Episode 2 or read my review of it, you’ll remember that Galadriel is part of a group that’s in charge of marching to Eregion to confront Sauron and get rid of him and Galadriel was super angry that Elrond was going to be leading the group and not her. And in my review of Episode 2, I was super happy about this turn of events but suspected that they were going to destroy Elrond’s character so that Amazon could continue on with their amazing Strong Whaman character and I was right. That’s exactly what they did.
Not only does this show steal the walking montage from The Lord of the Rings, but it also has Galadriel receiving strange visions of episodes to come from her Temu version of Nenya. She sees them walking into the Barrow-downs, a fight with Sauron, etc. and warns Elrond that they shouldn’t go South and that it would be safer to go North. Elrond, however, doesn’t listen to her (which is generally a good idea except in this case), and goes South, which leads to them running into the Barrow-wights and later into Adar and his gang of orcs, which gets two people in their company killed.
Why is this in here? Answer: It’s here so that Elrond can be shown as being prideful because he won’t listen to the far superior woman who knows stuff because she got a cheap ring that would be evil in the lore because Sauron helped to forge it.
On the bright side, during her one-on-one standoff with the massive group of orcs (that’s totally not supposed to be like Aragorn’s fight with the Uruk-Hai on Amon Hen), she does get captured, so maybe that’s a saving grace for this episode.
#5: Ents
Finally, we got something that’s actually supposed to be a thing in the Second Age: Ents, or particularly, Ent-wives. The only problem with this? So. Much. Stolen. Dialogue. And. Motivation.
In the show, the Ent-wives in particular are super angry at the humans because they keep chopping down trees to get wood to make buildings and stuff. They’re also angry to some extent at the orcs, but for some reason seem to be more concerned with the humans. This leads to stolen dialogue from Treebeard in the original movie and – combined with the terrible CGI that makes the Ents look like they were stolen from Shrek 3 – feels cringe and cheap, making you question why you should even care.
#6: Estrid/Isildur/Hobo Love Triangle
As though Saurondriel wasn’t bad enough, Amazon decided to throw in a random and unnecessary love triangle between Isildur, his crush, Estrid, and some random hobo that she’s betrothed to. Hopefully this means that we can get rid of her now, but I doubt it. They’ve built up the chemistry between the two to the extent where people will want some sort of romantic payoff at the end. How Tolkienian….
#7: The Lord of Pelargir?
At the end of the episode, Theo, that one kid that the show desperately wants us to feel sympathy for, is randomly given the title of “Lord of Pelargir” by Arondir (Don Lemonlas). While this was supposed to be an emotional moment for everyone watching, it just felt contrived 1). Because they were out in the middle of nowhere 2). Theo did literally nothing except get caught by an Ent and live in Pelargir and 3). No one really seems to care about him. If there had been some sort of build up to it such as the villagers all recognizing Theo for something such as being a great healer, then this would’ve made a little more sense, but we get none of that. It doesn’t help that they’re in the woods, either. And it’s also stupid on Arondir’s part because he’s met Theo in the first season. Theo sucked and it’s only been a few weeks since his incompetent butt accidently helped people get killed. So why is he now the Lord of Pelargir? Why is there no vetting process for that title? Why am I watching this show?
I don’t have answers for any of these questions.
Until next time,
M.J.
The Tanuki Corner 
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