Last time on OG Stories of My Childhood, we covered the Prologue and Chapter 1 of The Spotlight, my first ever novel that I wrote when I was around 10 years old. So far, we’ve laughed, we’ve cringed, and we’ve cried from laughing some more. Now, prepare for more of that.
Chapter 2: The Rehearsal
Beep, beep, beep, beep. Rebeca let out a deep, muffled, groggy groan. She did NOT want to go to a job she did not want. Bet she had to or else she would not be able to support herself or get the job she wanted. So, she got up and jumped in the shower.
After a good shower, Rebeca got in the car and drove of to work, stopping by McDonalds to grab some food. When she got to the Belview Theater, she was greeted by a young woman who was also going to where Rebeca was going. She was also new working there. She said, “Hello. Do you work here? I need to find out where I need to go to work.”
Rebeca was baffled. She didn’t know where the office was. What would she say? She couldn’t lie. Rebeca just said, “I’m new here and I only know where my work area is. But maybe if you tell me where you need to work, I can help you out.”
“I work in the stage department, as an actress. Well, I WILL work as an actress. I will first need to pass the actress test that every actress/actor must undergo.”
[Author’s Note: What is this test? Do you mean auditions? If I remember correctly, in Chapter 1, you didn’t even need to go to auditions to get a job.]
“It sounds like you’re new here.”
[Author’s Note: She just told you she was, Rebeca.]
“I am.”
“So, what happened to you map of where to go? Everyone who has been hired gets a map telling them were to go.”
“I lost it. I was driving around with my window open and when I turned the corner at a high speed, it flew out. Now I forget where to go,” the girl said solemnly, her eyes filling with tears. “I’m going to get fired!”
[Author’s note: Why doesn’t she just call her boss? Or look at a directory? And how does Rebeca know that everyone gets a map telling them where to go? Heck, why does anyone even have a physical map in the digital age when they can just call or use Google?]
How did she get an actress job? thought Rebeca. “Don’t worry, I know where it is. It just so happens that I’m also going to the same place you are. I’ll take you there.”
[Author’s note: Just remember how easy it was for Rebeca to get an acting job. Then re-read that line. All of a sudden, it becomes the funniest thing ever.]
“Thank you! You’re so sweet.”
After those few words, they set off together. But some things just aren’t what they seem. While the girl Rebeca had met in the parking lot seemed sweet, she was really a thief! When the girl and Rebeca walked down the street, the girl stole the map. “Ha!” she said, “You’re such a gullible person.”
“You must be joking. I’m not a gullible person,” replied Rebeca.
“Oh really, because this says otherwise.”
“My map!”
“I didn’t really lose my map. It never flew out the car window. I just made that up the moment I met you, so you couldn’t get to rehearsals.”
“But why? Why don’t you want me at rehearsals?”
“Because the moment I met you, I knew you’d be a problem with me getting the role I want to become a star. So now you will NOT get to the rehearsals. Ha, ha, na, na, na, na!” taunted the girl.
After the girl left, Rebeca let out a sight of disappointment. She had thought that she was gaining a friend. Now she knew the truth.
[Author’s note: What is the girl’s plan? Does she just spend her time stealing people’s maps if they seem like they could be even the slightest inconvenience to her getting the role she wants? Furthermore, later information will show how stupid this plan is.]
Even though Rebeca had lost her map, she still knew the way to the stage for rehearsals, thanks to her good memory.
As she entered the room, she saw the girl who had stolen her map! She was talking to the director. Rebeca slipped behind the door, careful not to be seen.
“She stole my map, so I couldn’t *sniff* get to rehearsals! The only way for me to get here is by a nive boy. You have to fire her!” said the girl to the director.
“I’ll give her a second chance. If she does another thing to you again, I’ll fire her, okay, Brittany?” said the director.
“What? This…ugh…fine daddy,” replied Brittany, rudely.
Rebeca heard footsteps coming towards the door. She ran down the hall, turned around, and started walking toward the door to the stage room.
“Hello! Are you the new girl who was hired to play Lenna?” asked the director.
“Yeah. I’m Rebeca in case you weren’t informed about that. Besides, I know that some directors feel they must know the names of their crew, so they know who to address,” said Rebeca.
[Author’s Note: Directors always need to know the names of their crew members. Why wouldn’t he need to be informed about her name? And why does she seem so passive-aggressive about it? I need answers.]
“That’s nice to know. But anyways, are you ready to participate in the test?”
“Yes.”
“Then let’s go.”
They then left to the office where they would take the test.
[Author’s Note: For those of you with even the slightest idea of how thee/thou/thy pronouns work, prepare to start cringing and screaming into a pillow in 3…2…1…]
“Now, I’m going to give you a simple sentence and I want you to repeat it. Here it is: ‘Thee is wise. Thee must join thee or thy will end up using thy potty for the rest of thee life.’ Can you say all of that?”
“‘Thee is wise,'” Rebeca started. “‘Thee must join thee or thy will end up using thy potty for the rest of thee life.'”
“Flawless!”
[Author’s Note: As someone who had to research how to use thee/thou/thy pronouns for my last book and the book I’m currently writing (which I can assure you is leagues ahead of whatever the hell this was), I am crying from cringe. Apparently 10-year-old me didn’t realize that me/my/mine existed in the English language in the 15/1600s and that thee/thou/thy were all forms of saying you/yours. If this was written to make sense (or to make as much sense as it can) it would sound like this: “Thou art wise. Thou must join me or thou wilt end up using thy potty for the rest of thy life.” That sounds much better and makes much more sense.]
They continued until 11:30. Finally, Rebeca passed the test and rehearsals began! The girls and boys and everyone else who auditioned were lined up for rehearsals.
“Thee may perish, but thy love won’t. Thy may die, but thy love shall live,” said Rebeca.
[Author’s Note: “Thou may perish, but thy love will not. Thou may die, but thy love shall live,” would be the correct way of writing it.]
“Cut! CUT!” the director bellowed. “That. Was. AWESOME! I loved it. You will be a star! Mmuh! Mmuh! I can’t believe I almost gave my daughter, Brittany, that job!”
That jerk? Ugh! thought Rebeca. Then she said, “Why, thank you. It’s an honor being here.”
“WOW! You even ac like a movie star. You will get the best role!”
[Author’s Note: Can you see why I only did one chapter this time? There is just so much wrong with this, mostly in how I thought Elizabethan English worked. Don’t worry though, I’ll give you a bit to process the cringe before we jump into the next chapter or two.]
Until next time,
M.J.
The Tanuki Corner 
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