This weekend, while getting ready for a fall drive in the mountains, in a desperation to find a movie to provide some background noise that my family could agree on, I turned on a absolute masterpiece that I hadn’t seen in quite a long time. That movie was A Knight’s Tale, something I hadn’t watched for years that had somehow been shoved to the back of my mind. Since it had been shoved to the back of my mind, I quickly realized that I was not prepared for the absolute masterpiece that A Knight’s Tale is.
#1: The Jousting
The plot of A Knight’s Tale is about a peasant named William Thatcher who’s trying to make some extra money by jousting. However, because he’s a peasant and not a nobleman, he has to steal armor and pretend like he is a nobleman in order to be in the tournaments and stuff, giving us the plot of the movie.
While the actual jousts are less cheesy than the ones you’ll see at places like the Renaissance Festival or Medieval Times (except in the last joust which I’ll get to in a sec), what is with the people in the stands? As I watched the opening scenes, I saw people with watches, sneakers, and other things that were not a thing in the time period being represented. Obviously, the movie makes it very clear that they aren’t intending to take themselves seriously since the first joust starts off with everyone singing “We Will Rock You” by Queen (which did a good job of portraying how excited everyone would’ve been), but this is something that continues on throughout the movie. There were even several people eating turkey legs (something they didn’t have in England since turkeys aren’t native there), which makes me think the directors just decided to go to a Renn Faire when filming.
While I can get over and laugh hysterically at the background actors since like I said, the movie didn’t take itself very seriously, something I couldn’t get over was the final joust, where William goes up against Count Adhemar with no armor. Already in the movie, we have established that armor is very important, even keeping you alive (in some cases, not all) after you’ve just been hit in the face by a lance. On top of that, it’s been established that Adhemar was cheating and had lances made where the blunt part could break off to reveal the deadly point underneath. With that in mind, without the power of ridiculous plot armor/convenience and the insane amounts of disbelief suspension, William would’ve died, especially since we see Adhemar’s lance break on something when he is finally met with Will’s lance.
#2: WHAT ARE THESE COSTUMES????
I’ve already commented on the peasantry watching from the stands wearing modern clothes, but no effort was put into Jocelyn’s outfits. Many of her costumes either look like she came back from Paris Fashion Week circa 2000 or Mad Max, or both. Here are some notable examples:
With this outfit, not only is it inaccurate to the time period (especially when we are given hints as to when this movie is supposed to take place with the Battle of Poitiers and Edward the Black Prince being alive), but she probably would’ve been burned or massively shamed by the church for wearing something that revealing.
This dress is slightly better, though still looks very costume-y and…is that a bird on her head?! Or is that her hair? I’m pretty sure from the texture that it’s her hair, but it doesn’t look great; it looks like it’s from Mad Max. She also wearing bright gold makeup, which is something that the church would not have been thrilled about.
Renn Fair + Kentucky Derby + Paris Fashion Week = whatever the hell this is. What makes this costume even worse is that pretty close to her was a woman wearing a historically accurate costume.
This is the most historically accurate costume I have ever seen. Hair that looks like a textured rat-nest with brightly dyed streaks, a bandage (?) on her cheek and a ton of other notable things was totally what women wore in the 14th century. Honestly, this looks like she’s auditioning for a role in Star Wars episodes 1-3.
I could continue on about these outfits, but unfortunately there are so many of these that in order to do more reviews on them, I would need to write another blog. It’s even worse when with some of the outfits, you could tell that the directors and designers tried to make them accurate (such as with Kate’s outfit or the armor worn by the knights (though the armor did often come from varying eras), but with Jocelyn’s, they must’ve run out of money.
#3: Female Blacksmith
Kate’s story, while an interesting inclusion to the movie, isn’t very accurate either. If you were a widow in medieval times, you either remarried, joined the church as a nun, moved back in with the parents, or became alewives (though according to my research, that was more common in the 15th century, not the 14th). It would’ve perhaps made more sense if she had remarried a blacksmith and learned how to forge with him than for her to attempt to run the forge herself.
#4: Floating Adhemar
Why was he seemingly floating when he was knocked off his horse? Did someone try to use CGI for the ground? What happened?
#5: Pretending to be Noble = Stocks?
In the medieval period, the consequence for pretending to be nobility was death. The stocks were used as punishment for things like public intoxication, blasphemy, arson, and fortune telling. While embarrasing and very uncomfortable, it wasn’t the worst punishment in the books and thus being put in the stocks is an incredibly light punishment for what William did.
#6: Continuity Errors
Scaffolding for the church is missing two minutes after it was there. William gets hit in the left shoulder, but the lance is sticking out of the right shoulder. The hole from where the illegal lance hit his shoulder is gone, but the stain is still there. Adhemar closes his helmet twice. William has a black eye that goes missing very quickly. I could go on and on, but it’s like the camera directors didn’t proof-watch the movie for errors before putting it out.
Conclusion:
A Knight’s Tale is a very cheesy movie, but is still watchable despite it’s flaws. If you’re looking for background noise or are depressed that you’ll have to wait another year for your local Renn Faire to come to town, this movie is for you.
Until next time,
M.J.
The Tanuki Corner 
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